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Why Absurd Goals Demotivate You

I had seven things on my to-do list on Monday. On Tuesday, I had six things. By the time Wednesday came around, I had eight items. All of these items were specific to goals.

How in the world did my to-do list increase when I had accomplished several items?

I sat down last night and thought about this. I like to set goals and make lists and accomplish! One of my strengths is achiever (I will write down something I have already achieved so I can mark it off…sue me). When I don’t achieve what I have set out to accomplish, I become frustrated and down. I wonder why I even set goals to begin with.

Sound familiar?

I create a to-do list based on my goals. When I don’t accomplish them, I feel like…

A failure

A fraud

A hypocrite

Because I am supposed to be good at setting goals. When I don’t achieve them, I lose a bit of motivation. Not accomplishing my goals day after day leads to greater loss of motivation. Absurd goals demotivate you. Period.

I realized that the daily tasks I was creating for myself, such as reading a chapter in my almost completed book, reading a chapter in my current personal development book, working on my other business, are not attainable.

I was setting goals based upon what I wanted to accomplish without thinking about my time in the day. I have two little ones who are constantly seeking my attention. Goals are good, but if I don’t have specific times in mind for when the items can be completed, my list will become demotivating.

I know that some hate the concept of a SMART goal. However, setting SMART goals allows for greater achievement and motivation to keep moving forward.  A SMART goal helps the individual to see if it is Specific, Measurable (how will you know when it is accomplished), Attainable (my current issue), Realistic, and Time specific.  A SMART goal, or task, gives you the foresight to know if what you set out to do will actually take place.

smart goals my own (1)
A SMART goal, or task, gives you the foresight to know if what you set out to do will actually… Click To Tweet

Today, I’m throwing out my current task list and evaluating what I want to accomplish that is realistic given my time constraints and the needs of my little people. When you have goals that are big and audacious, but create steps that are attainable along the way, your goals will encourage and inspire you instead of demotivate you.

I challenge you to do the same. And if you don’t achieve what you set out to, there is always tomorrow.

Remember, you have one life to live. Make sure you enjoy it from here to there.

Here’s to the Journey!

Stephanie_small (1)

The Worth and Wellness Journal: A Review

There are so many new planners and journals available today, that it is hard to determine which one is right for you. There is the Purposeful Planner and the Passion Planner and the Erin Condren Planner. These are all great to get your life planned and organized. And I settled on one this year I love.

When I started looking at journals, I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. I knew I wanted a guided journal. I knew I wanted a journal that lasted a certain number of days and was not too long. I also knew I wanted a journal that helped with my health and wellness. My health is something that was put on the back burner due to our insanely busy lives. I hate using the word busy, but there really was no time to make my health and wellness a priority until I left my 9-5 job.

I am a part of an amazing online group where people are dreaming and building and taking chances to be the best they can be. I was intrigued when I saw a post from my friend Amy Latta about her Worth and Wellness Journal.

I was lucky enough to get a sneak peek and to use the journal!

I love that the journal is based on the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy model. “Circumstances are neutral, it is your thoughts about them that make them good or bad. These thoughts lead to feelings; feelings lead to actions; and actions give you your results, which often confirm your original thought.”

Circumstances > Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Results = This is the heart of why we do what we do.

Sow a thought, eventually reap an action, which will either positively or negatively impact your circumstance.

Amy Latta _ Worth & Wellness Journal

The 30-day Worth & Wellness Journal is a workout plan, nutrition guide, self-care advisor, and therapist. It is designed to bring a greater level of self-awareness in various areas of your life and to help you discover why you self-sabotage your goals, in particular, your own weight loss goals. Health and fitness education will only get you so far. You need the tools to help you mentally choose, and sometimes fight, to become healthy and understand your worth.

This journal provides practical nutrition, fitness, and self-care tips for better wellness, and daily writing prompts to help you become more aware of the thoughts and feelings affecting your mindset.

As in all things, awareness is the key to any change. When you change your mindset you have the ability to change your body.

Each day focuses on two areas, your worth and your wellness. The Wellness Focus focuses on 3 sections: Nutrition, Fitness, and Self-Care. In the fitness portion, you are given 3-5 exercises to do that day. This journal provides practical steps to do immediately. The Worth Focus asks several questions to help you dig deeper to understanding why you do what you do. Each day has an area to brainstorm, sketch, or mind-map.

If you are looking for a simple tool with great impact, I want to encourage you to pick up your own copy of the Worth and Wellness Journal today. Click here to get your copy.

Here’s to the Journey!

Stephanie_small (1)

P.S.- Continue the conversation on Facebook! I would love to hear how I can help you on your journey. To receive up to date content, sign up to receive my free 7 Steps to a Prioritized Life on the home page and posts will be delivered right to your inbox.  If Facebook isn’t your favorite social media site, you can connect with me on TwitterPinterest, and LinkedIn.

What is a Coach?

“I’m a life coach.”

I sometimes shudder when I hear this statement. I heard someone say this recently but since I overheard it from another table, I decided not to interject in the conversation. Being a coach these days is used flippantly.

While there are many coaching certification programs, the profession of coaching does not have any regulations. What does this mean? Anyone can call themselves a coach. During graduate school, I was trained under the Core Competencies of the International Coach Federation, which is as close to a standard currently in the profession of coaching.

There is a skill set associated with coaching. It is not only about encouraging. Sometimes, a coach must call out the hard stuff or lack of action in order to keep the client accountable to the goals they set. It is having the ability to be an active listener, asking powerful questions, hearing what is not being said outright, and communicate those truths back to the client.

Coaching is about maximizing your potential. Seeing the vision and helping you get there.

What exactly is coaching?

Coaching is about maximizing your potential as an individual while utilizing the gifts and abilities you have been given. In this professional relationship, the coach helps the client achieve extraordinary results in the areas of their life that are important to them, whether that be relationships, business, or taking care of themselves.

A coach will help you move beyond the mediocrity of your current situation. We often get stuck in our own head, putting limitations on what you can achieve in life.  A coach draws out what is inside of you that you didn’t even know was there. A coach helps you discover what needs to be changed, and then helps you come up with a plan to make those changes. Without a coach, you will never become the best you that you can be.

In the simplest terms, coaching is a client-centered relationship based upon goals set by the client. The coach acts as a facilitator, sounding board, and provides accountability to help the client achieve success.

Effectiveness and Importance of Hiring a Coach

No great athlete has become the best they can be on their own. They always have a coach pushing them towards greatness. The athlete understands they must be ever learning and changing to become better. There is no athlete or team who is without a coach. The coach sees the larger picture while the athlete can only see what is in his scope, including position on the team and mindset.

This is the same for a life coach. A life coach enters into the relationship with the best interest of the client, helping them see the larger picture. The coach is able to see the larger picture due to the fact that they are not in the midst of the current situation. To help understand your situation, questions should be asked that bring moments of clarity and the “aha” moments to get you moving forward.

Coaching is about expanding your capacity as an individual.

Coaching is about expanding your capacity as an individual. Click To Tweet

If you are in a place in life where you are stuck, hiring a coach may be the next step you need to take.

I would be honored to help you sort through what is important to you and how you can make the changes necessary to get from here to there, to live your best life now. You only have one life to live.

Why not you? Why not now?

Here’s to the Journey!

Stephanie_small (1)

P.S.-If you would like more information on the coaching relationship, send me an email at stephanie @ stephaniegerman (dot) com. You can check out my coaching page here

I’d love to continue the conversation on Facebook! I would love to hear how I can help you on your journey. To receive up to date content, sign up to receive my free 7 Steps to a Prioritized Life on the home page and posts will be delivered right to your inbox.  If Facebook isn’t your favorite social media site, you can connect with me on TwitterPinterest, and LinkedIn.

How You Can Thrive This Holiday Season

I was at the end my proverbial rope.

It was the middle of December and I could not wait until it was January.

In fact, I was so stressed that I wanted to sleep for the next eleven days, but I knew that couldn’t happen. Apparently it would have been frowned upon by my husband and child. And potentially my mother, mother-in-law…well, you get the picture.

The holidays are full of joy for most, hard for those who may be spending them without a loved one, and stressful for all. The holiday season really begins in the middle of October, planning and preparing for Halloween, and lasts all the way through the New Year. If you don’t plan it well, instead of it being a joyful and fun time of year, it can be stressful and full of regret.

The holidays are full of joy for most and stressful for all. Click To Tweet

I finally got smart (well, smarter than I was at least) and decided to plan out our time. Starting in November, we have family birthdays, my best friends birthday, Thanksgiving, my birthday, my husband’s birthday,  Christmas parties (and holiday parties, not to be confused with Christmas parties), and New Year’s. And of course finding a time to meet with Santa (the kids, not me…maybe).

 
Instead of spending two months in pure chaos, I decided I was going to thrive this year.
Instead of spending two months in pure chaos, I decided I was going to thrive this year. Click To Tweet

Here is how you can thrive this holiday season:

Planning Traditions and Parties

First thing you need to do is pull up your calendar. I did this a couple of weeks ago and decided to make appointments for myself and our family. That is how I get everything else done, so why change a proven method? You will need to do the same.

First let’s start with Traditions…

Does your family have traditions? When I hear the word traditions I used to think it had to be something elaborate. Traditions are the things we do every year around specific events.

Since we got married and had kids, there are several things we have done each year that I had not really considered traditions, until last year. These are things we love to do and always cram them in. This year, I made a long list of the things we have done in the past and decided on a few we would do this year:

Baking for our neighbors

We don’t see our neighbors often and this is a fun way we can interact with them. My husband loves to make toffee and caramels while I love to make cookies. We have our oldest daughter help with the cookies, until she gets bored, but she loves handing the goodies to our neighbors!

Decorating sugar cookies

This one is for the kids. I like to make the cut out cookies and then give the kids everything they might need, or want, to decorate the cookies. We usually give these to family members (because grimy little fingers).

Santa

Yep, we go see Santa. In fact, this year we will be going on December 9th if anyone wants to come with us!

Walk Down Christmas Tree Lane (or the likes)

We have two awesome neighborhoods in our town that decorate their houses for the holidays. We grab coffee and hot chocolate, bundle up, and make an evening of it. It is so much fun to see the creativity and all the beautiful lights.

Action: Make a list of your favorite traditions and put them in your calendar.

Now let’s talk about Parties…

Parties, parties, and more parties seem to fill up the months of November and December. I make sure to know in advance when birthday parties or dinners are happening. My people are extremely important to me and I want to make sure they know it!

We have a couple of good friends who have Christmas parties. I make sure to find out the dates so we don’t plan something when they are happening.

My husband’s birthday is 4 days before Christmas so I always make sure to make his birthday a big deal and separate from any Christmas activities.

And of course my birthday, which I would celebrate all month long if I could, but apparently I have to share with my husband and Jesus.

Action: Between the traditions that are important to you and your family, and holiday parties, make sure you put them on the calendar. This gives you the opportunity to make sure you do not have too many events going on in a two week span, but ensures you give yourself some down time.

Learn to Say No

Boundaries are important even during the holiday season. You will be invited to events and others will place expectations on you that are unreasonable. I’m going to say this in the easiest way to be understood as possible…

Just. Say. No.

This season is busy and stressful enough. Often I wonder how I get through it. I learned this gem last year. If it doesn’t fit into my priorities, or if it adds to my stress, then I say no. You must know what your priorities are and be able to say no when it is going to cause undue stress on you.

Action: Know your priorities in advance so you can say no.

Don’t Wait to Buy or Make Presents

One year we waited until Christmas eve eve to buy my in-laws their gift. This was not intentional, as we knew what we were going to buy, but couldn’t find it. The day before we were to be at their house we went on hunt to find it. And we did, by 9 pm.

Make your list NOW of everyone that you want to bless by giving a gift to. If you are going to make it, plan a time now to make those items. If you are going shopping, plan a time for when you are going to go shopping.

With a little bit of forethought and planning, you won’t be scrambling to get gifts for your loved ones.

Action: Plan out your gifts now and get going!

In Conclusion…

The holidays can be stressful, but they don’t have to be. Put in the effort on the front end to plan out the next month. Your blood pressure and family will thank you.

Here’s to the Journey!

Stephanie_small (1)

Self Talk the Gospel: Healing in the Most Unexpected Place

I normally write on intentional living, personal development, and leadership.

Today, I want to share something that is important and vulnerable for me.

When I left my ministry position at a large church in town, I left quietly, because that is what I thought I was to do. Only a handful of people really knew why I was leaving. I had not done anything wrong. In fact, I had followed all protocols and procedures which were in place. I decided I had to leave if I wanted to still follow Jesus.

The reality is that the church is full of people. People who make mistakes and sin. And often times, those in positions of authority mistreat staff. I decided that I was no longer willing to be treated in such a way and was no longer willing to work in a hostile, unhealthy environment.

When I left, I was broken.

I was hurt.

I was upset.

Instead of turning my back on my relationship with God, I pressed forward. It wasn’t easy, it still isn’t easy, but it is so worth it.

I would be honored if you would read about my journey to forgiveness and healing at Self Talk the Gospel. And if it speaks to you, I would be honored if you would share the article. I wrote it not for myself, but to minister to others who have been in similar situations.

Healing in the Most Unexpected Place

Here’s to the Journey,

Stephanie_small (1)

 

P.S.- Continue the conversation on Facebook! I would love to hear how I can help you on your journey. To receive up to date content, sign up to receive my free 7 Steps to a Prioritized Life on the home page and posts will be delivered right to your inbox.  If Facebook isn’t your favorite social media site, you can connect with me on Twitter, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.